Funny Stuff

This is so cool, the guys designing these kind of stuff must have a lot of free time.
Love the concept

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like

sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the

chips and dip coming.

- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry.

God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re

stuck with.

- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by

then.

- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at

the same kids.

- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don’t want any more kids.

- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know

each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

- Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually

gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the

newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

-Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they’re rich.

- Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.

- Curt, age 7

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them

and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.

- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1 ) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never

going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.

- Theodore, age 8

(2 ) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need

someone to clean up after them.

- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

(1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?

- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is……..

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

- Ricky, age 10

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide..

And well I am not surprised.

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child? <

2. Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

3. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

8. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I’ll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14. So you were gone until you returned?

15. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

16. You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”

20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?” So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Priest, may I smoke while I pray?” But the Priest says, “No, my son, you may not. That’s utter disrespect to our religion.” Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him. Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.” And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Priest, may I pray while I smoke?” To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means.” Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask. Good

Example: “Can I work on this project while I’m on vacation?!?”

This is so true an too the point, i guess if you guys read this you will not forget the corporate lessons that we are time and again taught.

I got this e-mail via a friends and it has to be one of the most learning and hilarious mail i have received in a while.

These are important lessons one needs remember to survive in a corporate organization.

Enjoy the teachings

CORPORATE LESSON # 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the
wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she
opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have on”. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her
for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs! When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door
neighbor,” she replies. “Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the! $ 800 he owes me?”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!

CORPORATE LESSON # 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road; he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and
reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, “Father, remember psalm 129?” The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself
to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember psalm 129?” Once again the priest apologized. “Sorry sister, but the mind is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm
129. It Said, “Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!

CORPORATE LESSON #3

Usually the junior executives and staff of the company generally play football; the middle level managers are more interested in tennis and the top management usually has a preference
for Golf. FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Self explanatory….

CORPORATE LESSON # 4

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very
sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this
thing work?” “Certainly, Sir” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. “Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his
paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

CORPORATE LESSON # 5

There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin, Germany’s Chancellor Kohl, Pakistan Dictator Musharraf and French Premiere Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, “Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then
your wish will come true.” The French Premiere Chirac wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman
was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian President Putin turn, he did the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented with his beer pool. The last
is Pakistan’s Musharraf. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, “SHIT!!!!!!!………”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language; you never know what it will land you in.

Well she is definitely one my favorite rockers. I first heard her in college a few years back and it didn’t take long for her posters to fill my walls.

Well her first single was a hit and one of my favorite song was later to be released which you can enjoy on Youtube:

And if you guys already didn’t know, we share our birthday on 27th Sep 2007.

She is all grown up now but then she was the best a few years back. I like the innocence on her face, despite the punk look and well I did pick up some of her earlier snaps.

If you are also a fan, hope you enjoy them.