Silly …Very Very Silly
True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the world.
And now i know what the tech support people hate their jobs.
I was into software support for my team and it was hell to explain them simple installation procedures but after reading this, i am counting my lucky stars.
People and their experience with computers, probably first sight.
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, but it’s really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note …
Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry ……
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Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of ! the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer : Hello… I can’t print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and …
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates damn it!
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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…
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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: No.
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Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It’s not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening…
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in! Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn’t get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over ! 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
(38 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)
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Hilarious! This is why I stumble!
Comment by Brian — August 29, 2007 @ 7:33 pm
You think this crap is bad? I’ve had to explain scroll bars… Scroll bars for the love of god! Up arrow, down arrow, bar in the middle! The worst part? The idiot still didn’t get it. I had to tell them “Click in the white space and use your arrow keys.”
Comment by Batjew_Beyond — August 29, 2007 @ 11:13 pm
lol!!!
Comment by Chineseeee — August 30, 2007 @ 7:25 am
LOL
first one is most funny
Comment by Kristjan — September 3, 2007 @ 9:04 am
there is alot of ideots out there,they should all be shot LOL.you must get some giggles working on they helplines
Comment by gary bell from renfrew — September 5, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
Great time wasters! Some very good ones though!
Comment by Elwyn Jenkins — September 5, 2007 @ 5:48 pm
U think that’s bad? i was talking like 20-25 minutes with someone who had a pc on her house and downstairs was the main network in her office and she couldn’t see the files on the other pc’s.after i was ready to fucking shoot myself as i couldn’t find what the problem was she said those magic words “ah should i turn on the other pc’s?”…… i still got here 2 holes from punching the concrete wall.if she was in front of me…that whould be ugly.
Comment by EvilGenius — September 6, 2007 @ 5:52 am
I work for a Hospital help desk. I had a female DOCTOR call me once and ask what the little “o” with a slash through it was. I told her it was a zero. She then asked me how did she make that symbol on the screen appear. I told her just push the 0 beside the 9.
Comment by cybersleeper — September 22, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
Do people really think that if you just place things near a computer (which are wired) the computer will find them? It is a little like when people stand right in front of the television and point the remote at the middle of the screen, bashing a button even though they know that the batteries have died.
Comment by Bull3t — September 29, 2007 @ 4:47 am
Other people’s stupidity never ceases to amaze me.
Comment by Lin — September 29, 2007 @ 7:07 pm
when i was working for dells presto i was told a story from a work pal. He had told his customer to “close all the windows”, he said the line went dead for a while and when she came back she asked “should i close the windows upstairs as well?”
Comment by Craig — October 1, 2007 @ 2:26 am
most funny? really Kristjan
Comment by tim — October 9, 2007 @ 4:31 pm
well i am glad that the help lines have just as much a problem with stupid people as i have with stupid help line people. i asked an xbox tech support guy what the clock speed of the system was and he said it went as fast every other clock. then when i said i was looking at the mobo and it didnt have sufficient heat discipation stuff, he says “You do know its illegal to open the xbox console, right?”
Comment by Dillon — October 10, 2007 @ 4:33 am
haha i work at an internet cafe and some of the people come in.. damn it’s bad..
one lady i was helping:
me: ok, click on the start button
her: how do i do that?
me: just move the mouse to the button and click
her: mouse?
this actually happened x|
Comment by j33ry — October 12, 2007 @ 2:38 am
thank god for remote desktop, thats all im saying on the matter
Comment by john — November 25, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
Oh, they’re not stupid. Many people just don’t know much about the computers they use for chat/surfing. I drive a car and though I know a little I had to junk one once because I tried to put a timing chain on and messed up the job so badly. You shouldn’t call anyone stupid because they don’t understand a complex machine.
Comment by Wayne — December 10, 2007 @ 1:02 am